Tuesday, May 14, 2013

What would you do if you may not be healthy?

I'm grabbing my coffee and my journaling book along with my Bible... I have alot to say today...

What about your children, your husband, your parents and friends, everyone you are contacted with everyday of your life? What do you say to teachers, acquaintances and neighbors? Would you have already talked to God? Would you ask Him why, or ask Him for strength? How would you stay strong and hopeful in the eyes of your children and what if you have kids that are too young to understand and old enough that you don't want them to worry. I don't want pity or sorrow from others. I also don't want to use health issues as an excuse, a "woe me" story. I just want this to go away! But at the same time, I want people to understand why I'm not feeling like talking, why I've forgotten to send piano lesson and lunch money, why my child has missed choir practice and trying to keep up with my youngest. People don't STOP and think, what if this lady might be going through something or having a hard time. If you forget something or don't do what someone thinks you should, they're automatically and immediately judging and condescending. When you see or talk to someone who is seemingly rude, short or irritating, anything that you just don't like, PLEASE remember that you NEVER know what in the world God is allowing that person to walk through...

Each and every doctor's appointment, testing, medicine, restrictions, etc. are an everyday obstacle to climb over and those are the obstacles that are sometimes easiest. I find myself becoming devoured in fear and anticipation. So excuse the crap out of me if I don't answer you right away, forget to send in that darn check or my child's hair isn't brushed! Excuse me if I have no make up on and I'm sporting the Medusa look! I obviously don't answer to you and while I'm looking like I belong in the jungle, I am TRYING to be patient with God and praying to get out of something you just don't understand. And when someone rambles on about their absolutely wonderful fortune, exciting vacation and proud announcements of their life, believe me, I am happy for them. But, I'm not going to jump in excitement, that is very hard to do. I have to realize that not everyone knows there is something wrong with someone else, its almost like they "just don't know any better".

But I'm also frustrated! Its not that I don't care, I just can't right now. And I HATE hearing about other people's little complaints and instigations, scuffles and childish dramatizations with other people. I don't want everyone to know everything going on with me, but then I want to SCREAM to these people, "HEY! Your trivial crap and drama are so minuscule and a waste of time! Spend your life caring for things of utmost importance!"

Of course, as human nature I ask myself why. My talks with God have been expression of concern and worry, praying for a solution and overall positive ending. Time races by then painfully slows. Does your mind run wild and crazy when thinking and pondering on the possibilities of serious illness that you may never get out of? Who will care for your children?; no one the way you do, as a Mother, of course. What will your Husband do, if he loses his wife? Do you need to make a plan, legalize documents, inform the children... What do you do?


I honestly can say, I just don't know. When the heart races and exhaustion waves in and takes over, it's very hard to be logical sometimes. Everything becomes a blur and its on a prayer that you  make it another day, another day of praying and waiting, completing one test after the other. Trying to stay away from the questions of people around you because its so scary and stressful to talk about.

 I was in the waiting room at our local Breast Center and this lovely older lady came over to me. Its very obvious of my anxiousness and concern for my visit. She says to me, "I know you're worried... I'm requesting prayer for you on my Church prayer list." She continues to tell me, "You look much too young to be in here dear. May I ask how old you are?" Through tears, I was able to muster a simple response of, "I'm 27", and I trembled and bit my lip to prevent these irritating tears that I have felt too much of! The expression is of surprise and compassion, she leans for a very heartfelt hug and says, "You're so young!  But it's okay, He will take care of this!" Of course, this definitely helps and comforts, but being a human, it lasts for just a little while.

What some may not realize is, I may have multiple very serious problems that are trying to be brought to surface, regarding my health. I could have multiple diagnoses that are completely separate and would have very serious treatment options. This is a little journey I have very recently began and I have an amazing family and doctor, to work closely with and praying to have solutions very soon!

I looked up some Scripture, hoping to get some sort of ease and optimism from. Maybe one or some of you reading this can possibly get some comfort from these Verses out of our Lord's messages to us...



Matthew 6:34  Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.
Matthew 11:28-30  Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
Luke 12:25 And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his  span of life?
John 14:27 Peace I leave with you;my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you.Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.
Colossians 3:15 And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.
2 Thessalonians 3:16  Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times in every way. The Lord be with you all.
Psalm 55:22  Cast your burden on the LORD, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved
Proverbs 12:25 Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad.
Philippians 4:6-7  do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
1 Peter 5:7 casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.
Isaiah 43:1-3  But now thus says the LORD, he who created you, O Jacob,  he who formed you, O Israel: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you;  I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;  and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you.For I am the LORD your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior. I give Egypt as your ransom, Cush and Seba in exchange for you.
Hebrews 13:6 So we can confidently say,  “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?”
Psalm 46:10  Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations,  I will be exalted in the earth!”
Psalm 56:3 When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.
Psalm 121:1-2  I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth.
Proverbs 3:5-6   Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.
1 Corinthians 10:13 No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.
I don't know about y'all, but "not worrying" is just a tad bit of a challenge for me. I believe God knows this, however, it is in our very best interest and heart that we really learn to let it go and let Him just take it from our hands and our heads so we can sleep, play and live... 

I also want to share some points of worrying...
*Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow. It empties today of its strength.

*I’ll give you some symptoms of a sign that your faith is deteriorating–whenever you face all of your problems and you trust only your plans to get you out–it is a sign that your faith is deteriorating.

*No one can pray and worry at the same time.

*Knowing that God is faithful, it really helps me to not be captivated by worry. But knowing that He will do what He has said, He will cause it to happen, whatever He has promised, and then it causes me to be less involved in worrying about a situation.

*Worry is the sin of distrusting the promise and providence of God, and yet it is a sin that Christians commit perhaps more frequently than any other.

Honestly, I have no idea where to go from here, as I'm still waiting! A lot of times, the waiting game is excruciating. I don't know what, if anything, to tell my children. I prefer to worry them as less as possible at least until there is a definite and pinpointed outcome and lots of information. I could possibly have false positives, side-effects of things much less serious, this could all have a great turnout or less evasive problem. Everything could just possibly turn out "normal" or "okay"... I do not know!... All I know to do right now, and I recommend this to you as well, is to TRY to let Him take it, PRAY constantly, LIVE and PLAY as if today just will not end! Remember to always talk and express your feeling and concerns with your family and people closest to you, that you feel comfortable with. I had already decided that no details will be shared until ALL information is in and confirmed, this is how I'm coping and basically holding my breath. Mentally preparing to take this head on and just figure it out a day at a time. I can't tell you anything else and I can't even tell myself anything other than these things. I honestly do not know what happening tomorrow, Friday, next week and so on. God knows and I'm just putting my hands together and letting Him know I'm patiently waiting!

Also during this time, I have temporarily discontinued taking cake orders, but I have found myself enjoying my sewing projects as well as cooking, reading and playing with my children. Its very exciting that I opened an Etsy shop before all this, so I try to get some things done there as well...

Please let me know your thoughts and coping preferences if you too are facing serious trials. I'd love for you to share how your family works together, how you express yourself and even your favorite Scriptures, quotes, etc.

Remember it is usually best to express!

Share away and I hope to have maybe inspired while expressing myself as well. If no on reads this, that's okay, because I always need creative expression and blogging allows this, without judgement!


Thank you SO much for sharing a few moments of your day with me.

*Blessings*

20 comments:

  1. First off, thank you for visiting my blog and leaving a comment! It was very much appreciated! Second, I can understand where you're coming from in this post. I am dealing with what seems to be hypothyroid disease but am not getting any help from doctors and have had to take treatment into my own hands and let me tell you, I am scared! Thyroid problems tend to suck one's energy away like nothing else and on top of that my memory and ability to concentrate have been affected, making it difficult to focus on and understand all of the thyroid research on the internet. I'm terribly lucky that my husband is helping me. He recently read a book about fixing thyroid problems using diet instead of medication and he's going to make changes to his diet as well as mine to make things easier on me. I'm normally a very hands on person with my health and my life in general, I like to be in control and now I have to rely on someone else and it's really tough. I think the worst part of this is that while my husband is so willing to help me, my mother seems as if she could care less about what I'm going through and makes light of it whenever we talk calling me lazy when I don't have the energy to do a lot. She too has thyroid issues but has chosen to go the route of using medication as a band aid rather than fixing the actual problem and I think she's annoyed that I am not doing the same. Whatever you may be going through I hope it get's better for you and that you don't suffer too much. I am not a religious person so I can't say that I'll pray for you but you are definitely in my thoughts and I wish the very best for you!

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    1. Wow!!! Kimberly, you sound so much like me in so many ways!! I don't actually have the thyroid disease, but DID have hypothyroidism when I was a teen. It was horrible!! As an adult, I have now developed other serious issues, even though my thyroid condition disopated over time. My doctors still don't have a diagnosis, but its been a very scary, stressful and rocky road recently to say the least! I'm so sorry to hear about your mother. I know it can make things so much harder and sadder when your closest loves aren't quite what you need them to be. :( I SO commend you for not applying the band-aid and getting into the very items you put into your body! I too believe in pure and balanced intake of certain foods with the nutrients targeted for certain health concerns! My family and I consume as much organic balanced meals with fresh fruits and veggies daily! It still can't prevent or solve everything, but I guarantee it HELPS!! I can't thank you enough for coming by and sharing such personal info with me! This is why I love blogging! I definitely respect you on the religious standpoint and I certainly am grateful and love any positivity you offer and for keeping me in your thoughts!!! I am a praying person and I also hold many, many thoughts for those I care for, so you are right in there too! I'm sorry this is so long, but I am very happy you have come by and thank you again!!! Please come back by one day and have another chat with me! *Blessings and Love* to you and much luck as well! ;)

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  3. Thank you for posting this. Over the past year, I have had some health issues come up. My family has a history of high blood pressure, so I was put on medication a few months ago, even after trying to exercise and eat right. Last summer, my doctor noticed a lump on my throat. That later was diagnosed as a thyroid nodule. I had a biopsy, there are 2, they both are benign. I understand that anticipation and fear mix you described above. I tend to get too much advice by reading all kinds of things on the internet that get me all worked up and feeling like a true victim. But I can do all things thru Him, which strengthens me. Which means that I can choose to believe in Him and in His word. It's hard because when we're scared, we tend to go by what we see. I sit and wonder sometimes am I still considered healthy? It's aggravating but's the best thing I can do is to continually strengthen my relationship with Him, and enjoy my family. I just found your blog, you sound like a pretty strong woman.

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    1. Thank you so much Tiffany for sharing! I too have high blood pressure that runs in my family plus, unfortunately, Breast Cancer. :( I'm very happy for you that the biospies came back benign! I know you were under alot of stress and worry! I try to be strong, but not always easy... Thank you again for coming by and talking with me! I hope you come back soon! As I'm dealing with everything, I do have many more posts coming!

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  4. Thank you for sharing. I know how you feel I had a softball size tumor (it was bengin) on my left ovary and had the tumor, my ovary and tube removed. Then a month later has surgery to remove 10-12 inches of my intestines and appendix (crohns disease). Its hard some times not get depressed and feel sorry for yourself. But I truly believe that every thing happens for a reason. I wrote a post on it I'd you'd like to read it crazylifewithmy3boys.blogspot.com . Try to have faith and stay strong. I hope everything works out for you.

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    1. Oh my! You have definitely been through alot! Thank you so much for sharing your experiences with me! It definitely makes me feel better that there are women out there who understand! I too believe everything happens for a reason so I'm trying to pull through! I hope you come back to visit soon! I have more posts coming!

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  5. Thank you for sharing, this is so touching, and really resonated with me. Got me thinking. Your writing is a blessing!

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    1. Amazing compliment! Thank you SO much! I have more posts coming while trying to deal with everything, so I hope you come back! Thank you again for such an encouragement!

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  6. Hi Elizabeth,
    I wanted to come by and thank you for sharing your link in my Blog Hop. I always enjoy reading your blog. You've got a beautiful heart for sharing.
    Angel @ sewcraftyangel.blogspot

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    1. Thank you SO much!! I try to get in on your blog parties and links! I really appreciate you coming by and I have more posts coming while dealing with everything, so I hiope you come back! Thanks again!

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  7. Hey there! Here from the Blog Hop! Just wanted to let you know I'm following you via GFC & Bloglovin'! Hope you'll get a chance to check me out!

    Bloglovin'
    http://www.bloglovin.com/blog/3718883

    Blog url
    http://www.croppedstories.blogspot.com

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    1. I will definitely check it out! Thank you for coming by and hope to see you back soon!

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  8. Hi, I have had my share of health problems as well. None have been life threatening though. Inconvenience and painful, but no life threatening. I will pray for you. I hope all works out for you. Here is a little background:
    http://mary-anderingcreatively.blogspot.com/2013/05/going-to-link-up-today-from-hospital-bed.html

    I go Wednesday for test results. I could have one illness that could be life threatening too. I find out for sure Wednesday. I am not going to borrow trouble though. I know God will see me through. I know He is there for you too. He never leaves or forsakes us.

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    1. Thank you so much for coming by! I do hope your tests results came back okay. Anything that could possibly be wrong ius always hard to deal with in some ways!

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  9. I have a health problem too, {although not life threatening} and I totally get what you mean by, stop and think what "might" be going on in another persons life, if they are suddenly acting differently or something. One thing I do believe in, and that is your 1st verse which you are sharing - today is today and tomorrow will be tomorrow, not now. You will be in my thoughts and I do hope you keep us up to date, however and whenever you feel like it. I thank you for sharing this post at our All My Bloggy Friends Party

    Linda
    With A Blast

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    1. Thank you so much for coming by and talking with me! I'm so glad you understand and thanks too for the encouragement! I will have many more posts coming, so I hope to see you again!

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  10. Thank you for visiting my blog first of all. You are a very courageous woman and are very aware of what is important to you. Thank you for your story and I will have you in my thoughts and prayers.
    God Bless you and your family as you go through this part of your life's journey.
    Gretchen

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    1. You are very welcome and wow, thank you SO much for the amazing encouragement! Thoughts and prayers are always the best and I'm so thankful for other ladies who understand! I will have more posts coming, so I hope to see you again! Thank you!!!

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  11. Elizabeth, I just came across your blog completely randomly (someone pinned a picture from your blog on Pinterest, and I followed the link here); and I wanted to let you know that I said a prayer for you, and will keep you in my prayers in the future! I hope you are doing better!

    Love in Christ,
    Vicki
    http://nomoreafraid.blogspot.com/

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I love your responses and the wonderful experiences and thoughts you all share! Please leave your comments and don't forget to Follow Me for more upcoming posts!